Seems I’m on the 1–2 pound a week weight loss plan, which is just fine with me. I’m feeling pretty good, and until I get to a place where I can have some consistency in my life in terms of eating and exercising, I think the slow weight loss is a good thing.
This week marks exactly one year since we left Hawaii on our “year of being homeless,” and it seems fitting that we ended up in San Francisco, where we lived before moving to Hawaii. It’s been a magical year, and when we left I had hoped I would lose weight over the course of the year, but I never planned on having surgery and losing almost 60 lbs!
I opted to only tell a few people. I am very happy with this decision, but there are times I feel like a bit of a fake. So many people comment on good I look – and then ask how I did it. I usually say I eat mostly protein and very few carbs (which is true), and then I also tell them I had to do something because my weight was causing so many problems with my hips, knees, and feet. (The mirror and shopping for clothes were pretty bad for my self-esteem as well!) But I have to say I feel a little twinge of guilt that I also had some major help (and support from my husband) to get me to this point.
The most interesting part about this is that I feel good at the weight I am now, even though I am still 25 lbs overweight. I can’t picture myself 25 lbs lighter. I think I will look gaunt and wrinkly, even though I am still heavier than my husband (but I’m closing in!) and heavier than many of my friends. So I’ll just take it slow and see what happens.
I did have a fun morning the other day – I saw an “old flame.” I call him a flame because he wasn’t a boyfriend, but he was someone I was attracted to many years ago, and the feeling was mutual. I was dating my future husband at the time so it never went anywhere, and he eventually married as well. But it was fun to visit with him again – and wow, was he good for my ego, especially since my self-esteem was at rock bottom just four months ago. I was then at my heaviest, couldn’t walk without limping, was surrounded by stunningly beautiful people, and was recognizing that my weight was seriously affecting not only my health, but also my marriage.
So when I opened the door (I always stay at my best friend’s apartment in Haight-Ashbury, the same apartment I lived in) and was showered with compliments from the opposite sex, it felt wonderful. I also felt very much in control and happy with my life and my husband, so there was no temptation to be overly flirtatious – gotta love that feeling!
The other wonderful thing about the last few days is that even though I opted not to tell many people, I did tell three of my best friends and my sister, all of whom I saw this past week. And it felt great to be out of the closet – no more excuses about why I am eating so little and getting support from people at the same time.
Life is good. Life was good before my surgery, so I guess I should say life is better!
I’m looking a little like my petite older sister for the first time!
My sister and I are off to her health food store today to talk to the owner, who is really knowledgeable about nutrition. I’ll report on that next week. The photo shows us with my sister and her husband. She has always been very petite (and looks great in everything). But I think this is the first photo in which we even look related!
What do you think?