ALOHA FROM HONOLULU!!! We got back to Hawaii after our 13 month absence last Thursday and got situated in our condo where we will be for the next week. It’s so nice to be in a place with stuff we OWN!!! After a year of living in furnished places (and most were very nice) it feels good to be in a place that we can call our own. Even though it’s an executive rental and rented to, well, an executive, he has another house on the North Shore so he let us rent it back to him for the 10 days we’re here.
It’s been a busy few days; we went to the wedding (and I wore my new strapless dress and I felt great!). We also went to see a favorite Bluegrass band called The Saloon Pilots play Friday night in Kailua; they did NOT disappoint. My husband is a big fan and has missed that type of music while we were in Europe. But here was my big aha! I had a little salad, and a couple of bites of steak for dinner. But I decided to have a margarita and drank half of it over the course of a couple of hours. When I got back to record what I ate I was shocked that a half of a margarita was 270 calories!!! WHOA……so this is how people gain their weight back with a sleeve; it isn’t stretching the stomach, it’s eating very high calorie / low volume food. OK, then, I’ve had my last margarita for a while……and it shows me how important it is to track my food right now. If I wasn’t tracking it, I would never have known I had the highest calorie day since I was sleeved. (about 1300 calories that day).
So, the first day back, I went to the doctor because I am 4 months post op and was supposed to have my blood work done at 3 months….but since I was traveling, no could do. I made an appointment with a new doctor (Dr. Jennifer Ito) and saw her for the first time on Friday. WOW! What a WONDERFUL experience! The first thing I (or anyone!) would notice about her is that she’s incredibly beautiful. But beyond her physical beauty, she has this amazing gift of making you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to her at that moment; and although you know she’s crazy busy she didn’t make me feel rushed at all. She spent a long time with me asking me lots of questions; and it turns out she has other patients who have had WLS, so she seemed very familiar with the process and after care. I’ll have a call with her this week to go over my blood work, but I was SO happy to have found her. She loves her work and it shows.
I’ve been reading the forum quite a bit this past couple of weeks and I have to just say what an incredible resource it is. At 4 months post op, you can start to feel a little cocky; you’ve been through the roughest part and now you’re almost healed and you think you know everything. WRONG! I learn so much every time I go on there and I so appreciate the responses I see to questions.
One of the responses to “I Want To Know What Changes You Have Experienced In Your Relationship With Your S/o” came from a fellow sleever named SKCUNNINGHAM. It was so well written that I asked her if I could post it on my weekly update and she agreed. It was a good question and got a lot of responses, but I thought this one really covered it all. Thanks Sharon!
I think if you have a good, healthy relationship with your SO, it can (and probably will) get better. If you have a bad unhealthy relationship with an SO, statistics say the relationship has a strong probability of not making it.
If one of the things you are going to “fix” by losing weight is one of the reasons you and your SO are together in the first place, you may be in for some serious relationship trouble. Here are some things that can cause problems.
- If you are together because one or the other of you think “I have to be with this person because no one else will love me” the dramatic weight loss is going to problematic – because the underlying assuption will be challenged when other people start noticing how good you look.
- If you are together because you abused food together – you have stopped – he has not – that is going to be a problem
- If you are together and you had different “drugs of choice” – well you have given up your abusive relationship with food – if he is still abusing alcohol or some other subtance – this can be a real source of problems
- If because of lack of self-esteem, you gave up a lot of control or power to your husband in your relationship, and with your increase in self -esteem as you lose weight you try to “reclaim” that power or control in the relationship, that can cause problems
- If your significant other likes you better as a “big” woman rather than a normal or thin woman, you are going to have relationship problems
- If your significant other is not willing to change the way you live your life and not have every celebration and every moment of every day be centered around food, you may have relationship problems
- If because of lack of self-esteem or other personal issues, you put up with physical abuse in your relationship, as you lose weight, you may get the courage to no longer put up with the abuse. (YEA for you if this is your situation!)
Sometimes, leaving a relationship that is not healthy for you is the best choice you can make.
I am so fortunate because not only has my husband been supportive, but this has been a journey we have shared and it has brought us closer together. We had a busy day today too…..friends came over for lunch, then we had other friends come for dinner!!! So I really had to pay attention to what I ate. But our friends took the photo on the bottom of us tonight and although you can’t tell (I changed the artwork) the photo taken in 2010 was taken in the same place! My husband was at his lowest weight in the 2010 photo and I was at my highest……
So with that, as you can see, I lost one more pound this week……good thing I’m doing a blog for one year…..I’m at week 21 and with 30 more weeks and about 30 more lbs to lose, at this rate I should finish about the time I reach goal!!!!
Sending everyone lots of aloha; have a great week and a hui hou!
Queen of Crop