Well, Week 5 has been one of ups and downs emotionally, and down (in a good way!) physically. I’m down to 186 lbs. I’m going to start putting my weight in the title each week. I think it just helps to visualize the progress, even if it’s slow or stalled.
Seems that I am on the every-other-day plan. One day, I feel great, have some energy, seem focused, food goes down well. The next day I’m exhausted, I forget to eat, to drink my fluids and I can’t sleep because I have graphic images going through my brain, sort of like MTV that won’t turn off. I even threw up (the slimes) twice.
If you don’t know what the slimes are, here is the graphic description. You eat something your new tummy doesn’t like, or you eat too fast, or you eat too much. It feels like it’s just sitting in your esophagus. So for me, I just lay down and after about 30 seconds it all comes up. (Handy to have a bowl nearby.) It looks like eggwhites and although it’s not pleasant, it’s a lot better than normal barfing. And you feel much better after. The second time it happen to me, I was on a massage table. So steer clear of a massage within an hour after eating.
So this is my self-diagnosis: First of all, since I pretty much was on a free-for-all for so many years, I never let myself get hungry or thirsty because I was always grazing if not having a meal so I really didn’t have any hunger or thirst. Now, since I don’t have any hunger sensations, it’s very easy to not take care of yourself. I don’t like being so absorbed with myself, so I’m not paying as much attention as I should to eating or drinking.
So the message for Week 5 is to eat and drink! Seems odd to be saying that to myself and whomever is reading this, as we all want to lose weight. But for me, it’s been very easy to not pay attention. Yesterday was the worst. I was out all day and did not take anything to eat, so by the time I got back home at 2pm I was shaky and cranky. LESSON: Never leave home without a protein bar.
If you are getting dehydrated, you are setting yourself up for a bladder infection and that will also cause the ‘hallucinations and no sleep.’ By the way, I am Week 3 post-op and I’m eating a mix of liquids, mushies, and trying a few other normal foods here and there. I have my checkup on the 22nd and the surgeon wanted me to start eating normal food a few days before I get there to see how I do.
Today this has been my food:
- Breakfast: A protein shake and a few bites of a protein bar
- Lunch: A hard-boiled egg with a little tuna and mayonnaise and 4 soda crackers. (The biggest lunch I have eaten and it tasted great!)
- Snack: Tea and a cookie
- Dinner: Butternut squash soup (1/2 cup) and a little smoked salmon
I realize that probably doesn’t get all of my protein in, and I have a hard time calculating it because I’m in Europe and I can’t figure it out most of the time. I am NOT an ideal person for this because I’m lazy in that regard.
Physically, outside of the throwing up and not sleeping well, I’m excited to see the changes in my body! I can really see the difference in my face and neck, and my clothes are starting to hang much differently. I’ve mentioned we are traveling for a year, so I just gave two bags of clothes away that I know I will not wear again (lots of summer stuff). This way we can travel light and it feels great. My leg/knee/feet pain is essentially gone and I can walk like a normal person again… it feels fantastic!
Emotionally is another story. I’m in Amsterdam and let me tell you, the women here are just stunning. You walk out your door and there are tall, thin, fit, gorgeous women in fabulous boots and who would just blow you away with their beauty. There are no fat people here—seriously. It’s been an incentive in one way, but being 5’3″ and overweight has messed with my normally strong sense of self. I’m married to a great, good-looking guy who is 6′ and weighs 151 lbs! So I’ve been having this pity party for myself thinking it doesn’t matter how much I lose, I’ll never be pretty. But I know I’ll get past that. I’ve just never spent so much mental energy on my body before and it’s all a little new.
And I have not been taking my vitamins because I can’t get them in. I have managed a multi for the last two days, but I’m waiting for my chewables to arrive. I had to order them online; no GNC or Costco here. I just hope they get here soon because I know my body is not getting what it needs to heal and get on with the important things it needs to do!
Regrets so far: NONE! Overall, I am loving feeling thinner. I can cross my legs again! I went shoe shopping and I could actually cross my legs to try on some boot-type shoes instead of wiggling your foot in the shoe and bending over to get it on (I think you all know what I’m talking about). My husband bought me a new bra and sexy underwear at a lingerie store, and he and the sales lady (a friend) helped me pick them out! Something I never would have done before. So all in all it’s been a good adventure so far.
Just remember, drink your fluids and don’t forget to eat! We leave Amsterdam on Monday and will be traveling by Eurail Pass for the next month, so I know I will have some challenges ahead of me but no more than most who go through this on their own journey.
Thanks for coming along for the ride!